Comments on: To be Fair . . . to the Chaplain and to All Others

By: Tina

Tina — Wed, 18 Oct 2006 19:15:07 +0000

There’s a old, out of print book that I’ve loved since I was a teenager called Go Out In Joy! It was written by a woman who has since been ordained as a Presbyterian minister. The author’s name is Nina Herrmann (now Donnelly). The young woman might be interested in this person’s take on her chaplaincy.

By: John Dobbs

John Dobbs — Tue, 17 Oct 2006 01:31:06 +0000

Dee, I read with interest this account … First, I’m grateful for Jim to be there as a professional with heart to help you, and a good doctor to join in as well.
For about a year or so I went to the hospital every day and worked with a man who was chaplain (paid very little by the Baptist Association for the hours he put in) … an outstanding retired Baptist pastor who had a beautiful spirit. He taught me that if the patient was in a situation being helped by an orderly, nurse, or being visited by the doctor, to back out quickly and say, "It’s the chaplain, I’ll return later." I had to do that many times. It never occurred to me that the person in the room might want me to come in and help tend to their needs. Probably most would want someone who was trained in those procedures to do these tasks.
However, I hope I would not hesitate to help someone with such a need, if presented with the situation.
Other things this brother taught me about being a chaplain:
*Never make your visit a long one. A short conversation, a word of comfort, a prayer. Occasionally I broke this rule for a lonesome patient who needed to talk. All I had to do was stand there and listen.
*Never wake up a patient. They may be resting for the first time in a long time.
*Be sensitive not to be in the way of the nurses or doctors. They are the primary people in this situaiton. God can heal without your presence!
*Respect religious sensibilities. Though I was never asked to do so, he occasionally was asked for a rosary, or to serve communion to a patient. On the other hand, most Jehovah’s Witnesses and Mormons do not want you to visit them. Occasionally I would run into someone who would be upset that a religious person was in the room. I exited quickly with an apology and ‘hope you are feeling better soon.’ I did not return to that room.
*I visited the chemotherapy lounge (?) on occasion. Although these were not in the hospital except to get their chemo treatment, they appreciated a short visit. It was out in the open…looks like a barber shop with chairs lined up… but I would still ask their names, how they were feeling today, and offer a prayer with those who were willing.
*Today…I always ask people how they are "today" because especially cancer patients have ups and downs.
*We had some nice cards that the Baptist Association provided that could be appreciated by anyone of faith. I enjoyed leaving these in the room and was often thanked for them. I saw stacks of them by the beds of longterm patients…they didn’t throw them away.
*I always ended my time visiting the hospital in the chapel. It was a wonderful place…very quiet respite in a noisy busy hospital. I prayed for every patient in the hospital, the nurses who were under such pressure, the doctors who were likely overburdened with patients, and everyone who worked at the hospital…the efforts of whom kept the hospital an optimum place of healing.
Alas, a new chaplain was brought in and he seemed disinterested in my help … I came a few times… I finally left him my number and asked him to call me if I could be of assistance. I haven’t been back except to visit specific people I knew.
Dee, you are a most graceful woman in the Lord … I trust your judgment about the situation you wrote about. I’m thankful some other chaplains will be reading.

By: Dee O'Neil Andrews

Dee O'Neil Andrews — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 20:44:05 +0000

I agree with you MAK. I've had some good friends who have served as chaplains, both paid and volunteer, and they did outstanding jobs. They were warm, giving individuals to begin with and that came across very well in their ministries.I've been in the hospital several times in my life in all different situations and have met a lot of chaplains and ministers who've served as chaplains or who just make hospital visits and that is commendable work.This man struck me in all three visits and in watching him out in the hall and with other people as perhaps not the best choice for the position he had. That is a judgment call on my part from what I observed and experienced and from what others who worked with him said.I'm sure he meant well. He did a devotional over the intercom system every morning, I believe, and I heard the one the last morning I was there and wrote about it in my "I Only Cried Twice" post because it meant a lot to me. Maybe his talents lie in other directions. I agree with you in your assessment of what all a chaplain should be and how they must operate (I think) to be successful. I also agree that if someone "burns out" in a ministry of whatever kind (or other work, for that matter), it's time to make changes. Not everyone is cut out to do the same things. I suppose my main point in my last post was to get us all thinking about how we might sometimes come across to others in our attitudes and presence which convey we would not be one who would even attempt to be "a neighbor" because it was beneath us.That was what the chaplain conveyed to me 3 days in a row and it struck a nerve with me because I try very hard to not be that way as a Christian. I certainly hope I don't come across that way in my blog or in comments either one. If I do - or when I do - someone please write or call and tell me! I'll be the first to change my ways if needed, just tell me how. (Now I'm really opening up a can of worms, y'all!! Be kind. Please. I'm an old lady who is very delicate y'all know! )Cheers & Blessings today, y'all! Dee

By: aggiema

aggiema — Mon, 16 Oct 2006 19:06:04 +0000

Dee, I have to admit that when I first read the post about the Chaplain that I too thought perhaps you were being too hard on him but thought perhaps there was more to the story that I did not know so I refrained from putting in my 2 cents worth. I am getting better about restraining my tongue as I get older (it’s about time!) I would think that it would be easy to become "hardened" by a job such as a Chaplains, so many times the outcome in a hospital setting is not a good one. Having said that I would also think that if you have become hardened, then it is time to change jobs. A Chaplain should be the most easily and readily assessable person in the hospital. I think they should ooze empathy and sympathy. When you are hurting, emotionally and physically you need comfort and not really anything else.