I’m Wavering Here, Guys - I Need Some Cheer
June 12th, 2007 at 3:14 pm by Dee O'Neil Andrews
Here I sit, Dee Ann Davidson O'Neil Andrews, Esq. (see My Profile for the explanation for all of that and My Resume for the rest - it's a long complicated story), the one who is always cheery and upbeat encouraging everyone around the blogging world, moping around in a terribly despondent state of mind.
If you've read my last post, you'll understand some of the reasons I'm struggling this week. Some of the rest have to do with trying to get our house finished so that we can move in before the 30th of June when our already once extended apartment lease is up, higher mortgage rates all of a sudden after all of my meticulous planning for the building of this house and an exorbitant increase in our health care costs due to our health insurance skyrocketing - and I do mean skyrocketing.
The apostle Paul talks about not giving up before the end of the race and not tiring or growing weary and I find myself in just that predicament at the moment, and I've been this way for several days now.
I know, I know. I wrote Sunday afternoon about finding solace in God's word and in prayer and in thinking about our very real life after this one, but I find myself unable to stay completely focused on all of those things.
Any of you understand? Ever feel this way? Like everything is totally out of control and you just can't keep going? Or am I the only one. At least the only one who will admit to such failures in my thinking and in my spiritual walk.
I'm actually much better this afternoon than I have been the past couple of days and here's why. I got up this morning and decided I needed to spend my morning engaged in physical work - ironing, to be exact - while I meditated and prayed. I did that. In fact, I wrote about ironing just a couple of weeks ago being spiritual news of note for the very reasons I just gave.
I also got myself together, did my hair, put on makeup (I'm sure all you guys will identify greatly with these facts) and went out to the house to watch what all was going on today, which was a lot. I also had to be out there for when Sears (give them a plug here) delivered our refrigerator for the house. I mean, we only bought it last September!
The guys were also out there to start the process of laying carpet and our wood floor for the dining room. They got about half of the work done and will finish the job up tomorrow.
The cabinet maker had also shown up this morning to install the built in cabinet in the living room where the big TV and sound system all go. The good news there is that the custom made built in maple cabinet looks terrific - like a piece of furniture in what had been the big hole in the living room wall (I'll have to take pictures, or you can go up to the top of the page here and go to "Creating A Home" and see all of the pictures of the property and house up to this point).
I grabbed a burger and fries on the way out and Tom did the same and met me out there. We spent our lunch time talking to all of the workers in the house and thanking them for helping us create this home we are building.
We had hoped and planned to move in this weekend, but that is not going to happen (did I mention the leak in the plumbing we discovered last Friday at the same time we discovered the theft?), so now it is going to have to be two weeks from now before we can get moved in. (How long have I been saying that? Just two more weeks?) In other words, the last week of June, which is cutting it really close since our apartment lease is up June 30.
Oh me.
Sometimes problems mount and pile up around us, totally closing us in. When it does we sometimes need the extra encouragement of friends and family to cheer us on. That is where I am right now. I admit it. Sometimes my manic/depressive personality lands on the depressive side for a while and I need encouragement.
Tom is excellent at encouraging me and he has been in good form, although we both spent most of our weekend, I have to say, down in the dumps. But he has bounced back quicker than I have, although I'm really working on it. I am. It just sometimes takes a little while and a lot of love and reassurance from others.
So if you have a bit of cheer to spread, send it my way, ya hear? I could use a bit and more right now in my life.
I know y'all will come through for me. You always do. So thanks! I feel cheered a bit already just writing to you all about it and sharing it with you.
Any extra prayers laying around would be greatly appreciated. Also a cyber hug or two.
Thanks, guys. Dee
Well, Dee, I sure know where you are coming from. Depression can hit so hard that you can’t breathe, making remembering the things you need to do almost impossible. I know we should always remember that God is good and He will work everything for the best; but some things are just easier to know than to do. I have plenty of extra prayers for you, my friend, as you deal with so many things happening at once. The theft alone would have driven me very near if not over the edge. I just don’t understand people who do not respect other people. Praying, Pat
Hang In There Dee! Just think of that beautiful house and all the good times you and Tom will have in it. Those grandkids playing on the back porch and the solid “THWACK” of that screen door. I know these setbacks are hard to take but it will all work out in the end. Praise Be To God The Father that we live in this great country where we can build houses and be free to live and worship in them as we please.
Just keep making lemonade for a couple of more weeks and you’ll be just fine, my friend!
Dee,
I’ve got a cyber hug for you — and a prayer!!
Take care,
Bobby
ya ain’t alone dear Friend
ya got my prayer
and will send ya abig hugg, watch out for it
God’s Grace!!!!!!!!
Dee, we are truly kindred spirits. My Achilles heel would definitely be my son. When something troubles him it can eat me up. My own wife said I was extremely moody when it looked like Bible Camp had been taken away from us and there would be no replacement for something I had done for nearly a quarter century.
In Job 1:21 it says “He gives and takes away, blessed be the name of the Lord.†I believe the reverse is also true; He can take away and give, hence my “camp experience†this year. In the face of what you and Tom (and all of us when it comes to gas, insurance costs, ect.) are facing hold on to God’s promises. God has an interesting way of working out things in His own time.
BTW – the last part of that verse reads, “…and Job did not sin.†I’m still working on that part. To the encourager of all of us here in blog church, be encouraged!
Since we’ve been “talking” via email, consider yourself cyber-hugged!
(((HUGS)))!!
Oh, I do know what you are experiencing, you are certainly not alone in this. But… God will give you all you need! May not always be what you want though, but He will not put more on you than you can bear!!!
Praying for you, girl.
God’s Grace.
posted something you mught like to read !
huggs
have a great day! cause He made it for us!
Here’s another cyberhug, Dee. You’ve given plenty to me, the least I can do is give one back.
Read your line about putting on make-up, sometimes making ourselves look pretty is good mental medicine.
Sent you an e-mail, did you get it?
I just read jel’s post and without knowing you were one being a bit down, I popped over here…(well, your comment did give it away just a little bit)…anyways, thought I would pay you a visit, send some understanding and ecnouragement your way…a hug or two and most definitely some prayers…
How very exciting that God has blessed you with this house. We can never be sure where all the obstacles come from or why; I only know that for me, it makes me think harder as I ponder how to handle them while staying focused on our Lord. All part of the daily walk.
Keeeping you in prayer.
Donna
Oh, I’ve been absentee around here and blogosphere, but saw today’s post and just had to comment with a big ol cyberhug! I hope the next two weeks bring nothing but positive news and an easy transition to the new home. HUGS!!!
Praying for you now.
Wishing I could take some of your stress for a few days so you could rest. Since I cant—I will continue to pray.
Peace
Neva
Day late and a dollar short! That’s me. Anyway, I just read your post and while I was reading it I couldn’t help but think of my favorite passage in 2 Cor. 12, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness….that is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weanesses, in insults, ……..for when I am weak, then I am strong.”
By talking of this weakness of yours, letting stress and heartache get you down, you can be made strong in His power.
So….have a hug from me to you and know that when we are weak, then we are at our strongest in Him. Have a great day and don’t let some “thing” ruin your blessed and bright spirit.
Hello, Sis! I just want you to know that I am still thinking about you and praying for you.
May God give you a sense of peace with all the things you are having to deal with. May God also strengthen your heart with the realization that your building projects are limited to brick and morter.
You are one of the most extraordinary people builders I’ve ever “met”. Projects that you’ve had a hand in building are bearing fruit all over the world. Have a great day and remember: God loves you and so do I (and about 10,000 other bloggers throughout the world)!
I feel your pain! There aren’t too many things more stressful than moving, and to add misery, it’s especially difficult when you have an approaching deadline. I pray that things come together, that you get the move accomplished, and that you do it all with some time to spare regarding the lease.
Ben
Hey Dee,
I just heard an old arab proverb- “The dogs bark but the caravans pass by.”
The dogs are barking at you right now, but this too will pass.
You are in the arms of a God who loves you intimately.