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I need some laughs today, so here you go.  You men take note and you'll understand everything you need to know about a woman!

Cheers!  Dee

Nine Words Women Use That Men Need to Understand

 1.) Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2.) Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this
means a half an hour.
Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just
been given five more minutes to watch the game before
helping around the house.

3.) Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This
means something, and you should be on your toes.
Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4.) Go A head: This is a dare, not permission. Don't
Do It!

5.) Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a
non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A
loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and
wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and
arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for
the meaning of nothing.)

6.) That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous
statements a women can make to a man. That's okay
means she wants to think long and hard before deciding
how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7.) Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question,
or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8.) Whatever: Is a women's way of saying $%#@ YOU!

9.) Don 't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous
statement, meaning this is something that a woman has
told a man to do several times, but is now doing it
herself. This will later result in a man asking
"What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

6 Responses to “Nine Words Women Use That You Men Need to Understand”

  1. on 16 Aug 2007 at 10:21 am cwiwnc

    One of my wife’s favorite phrases that she poses in the form of a question is, “Would you like to do “so and so” for me?”

    Most of the time this question / statement / command / warning / red alert / deafcon 5 / ultimatium comes my way when I’m in the horizontal position on our livingroom couch with remote in hand.

    My thought processes when I hear the above go something like, “No, I don’t “WANT” to do it. This is why I’m in the current position that you see me in however, if I know better I’ll do it!”

  2. on 16 Aug 2007 at 12:04 pm ben overby

    So true, Dee. I offer one slight correction:

    You wrote: “Five minutes is only five minutes if you have justbeen given five more minutes to watch the game beforehelping around the house.”

    I think it should read, “Five minutes is only two minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

  3. on 16 Aug 2007 at 12:34 pm brian

    funny but true

  4. on 16 Aug 2007 at 4:18 pm Greg England

    This list is just the tip of the proverbial iceberg!!! Ben was wise to bring out that correction, but not so wise to mention it to a woman!!
    Cheers

  5. on 16 Aug 2007 at 5:27 pm Jim Martin

    Dee–this is great. I can’t argue with these!

  6. on 16 Aug 2007 at 10:32 pm Big White Hat

    Oh come on! You know as many moody dudes that do this as I do. These things are not female, their character flaws.

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