A Chronicle of Pain & Hope
January 15th, 2008 at 1:04 pm by Dee O'Neil Andrews
I'm going to confide in y'all today. I've not been one to do that to any great extent about myself, but I've decided to take the chance.
We always take a chance when we're "real," don't you think? I mean, this world is often times not very understanding or sympathetic.
I'm suffering from deep depression. I know I've mentioned my bouts with depression here before, so that is not new. What's new is the extent to which this depression has grabbed hold of me. It's painful. Not in a physical sense so much as mentally and emotionally.
And, I've been hiding this depression (even from Tom, or maybe especially from Tom) as it's gotten worse over the months to the extent I've been able to do so. However, my secrets were beginning to unravel and that just added to my deep angst and "guilt."
But, there is hope. I'm seeing doctors this week (already saw one yesterday and have appointments tomorrow) who will help me change my medication to one that is more comprehensive and appropriate for what ails me. The medication I'm on only addresses one of the chemical imbalances in my brain while the new one will address two, and I need them both very badly.
I plan to write about this here as I go through this process of getting better and I hope you will be here for me to comfort me with your comments and concerns. Most of all I covet your prayers.
I'm hoping to start the new medication tomorrow as I taper off the one I'm currently on (I don't want to crash and burn, thus the overlap), but it will take a few weeks to build up in my system to render the full help I so desperately need.
In the meantime, I'm going to turn to this blog for refuge, because you all bring me great joy in my somewhat dismal life at the moment. I plan for us all to have much fun starting in a few days when I launch my Third Annual Winter Desktop Photo Contest in which you all send in often great photos and many hilarious attempts to "bribe." I don't know who enjoys the contest more, me or y'all.
It's a lot of work, but I enjoy doing it and it gives me something to look forward to that is fun and lighthearted. I really need that right now.
That's it for today. More to come.
I hope all y'all are having a good day. If not, then welcome to the club. If you are, then share your good day with the rest of us in comment. Please!
Cheers! & Blessings to you all today! Much love, Dee
I can empathize with where you are at. I hope and pray that things get better for you. May you have much better days to come.
Oh Dee, I wish you peace and comfort in your struggle with depression. It can be such a struggle, and you will be in my prayers.
I will have to see what I can drag up for the winter photo contest!
Not sure what to say other than “know you are loved”.
Sure hope things are looking up….
I must confess I am having a wonderful day. My triplets visited me here at the office and were everywhere! They are so full of energy right now. Then I went out and spent some time with them. It was hilarious to see them fight over who got to use the Swifter Mopper. If they will only keep that desire!!
Hang in there Dee. It will be better.
We’re with you Dee as much as this blog church can be with someone. Hang in there.
a flybyhugging!
You are certainly in our prayers (and have been). I’m glad you’re seeing the doctors and getting the medical help you need. And I’m glad you are sharing this as it will be encouraging to fellow-travellers.
Dee, as I have told you before, I have been there and been there. Right now I am on a pretty even keel taking 2 medications plus fish oil. I am praying that you will have quick results from this change. Hugs and God Bless, Pat
Praying for you, Dee, and hope you feel better soon! Much love!
Dee,
I will keep you in my prayers! May God bless you in this battle and thanks for keeping up informed via your blog. Will enjoy the photo contest!
– Bobby
Dee,
Thinking of and praying for you!
You are loved and prayed for. I have dealt with depression and severe pain much of my life (they go hand in hand) so I can empathize at least somewhat with your journey.
I will try to make my bribes… uh… courtesy gifts to the judges appropriate and joyful. I’m scrounging around in my medicine cabinet for them now.
Yes, depression hurts, and so often lingers. Many of the Psalms seem to be written by someone thoroughly depressed. I pray that the new meds give you the relief you yearn for!
Ben
This too….will pass….you just have to hang in there and bask in the high points as you will have them when you begin the new medication! Each day will get a little better as the effects of the medication will linger longer and longer. If you need to talk…call, email, yell, whatever;) I’ll try to send a little laughter your way too!
I’ll be praying for you, too. Hang in there!