Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

First, I want all of us to remember and pray for all of those in Hurricane Ike’s path.  This storm is even broader in area than Katrina was and they are now saying the storm surges could be as high as 22 feet.  

This storm is so large, in fact, that it is wreaking havoc here along the Mississippi Gulf Coast, all the way around New Orleans, including the north shore of Lake Pontchartrain and all along the Louisiana Gulf Coast.  Our local – New Orleans – TV stations are already showing hurricane coverage non-stop because of all of the mandatory evacuations and major roads under water.

If you remember, I just won 1st place and 3rd place in my division in the Picayune Writers’ Group Writing Contest.  I submitted three pieces of work and won with two of them.  I was thrilled.

Well, yesterday, I received my two Certificates of Merit and the judges’ critiques of all three of my pieces and some of them were very helpful.  There were three judges for each.  A couple of them either didn’t say anything at all or very little, but the third was conscientious and detailed, which I really appreciated.

I want to share some of their comments with you because (1) they were mostly good, and (2) y’all critiqued them for me before I entered them and were good judges, yourselves, making some similar comments.

The judges scored the entries in 10 different categories, with scores ranging from one to 10 in each one.  So, the most a contestant could make would be 100 (and the least a 0, of course).

Here are the 10 categories:

1. Format:  readability, neatness.

2. Grammar, syntax, spelling, punctuation

3. Effectiveness of opening: Reader interest prompted

4. Clarity and continuity. (Read through without stopping/questioning)

5. Value (poignant/entertaining)

6. Believability/marketability

7. Effective word/phrase usage

8. Effectiveness of point of view and ending.

9. Impact (Something you wanted to read/enjoyed)

10. Overall appeal

Here we go – on my 1st place winner "Acquistion – July 4, 1995" – I got the highest overall scores, two 99′s and a 92.  All of the judges think I can sell it, which is encouraging and something I need to work on.  The 92 judge gave me mostly 9′s with 10′s for believability/marketability and effectiveness of point of view and ending.  He/she said:  "Good metaphors and nice details of the weather vane – makes the reader appreciate the gifts of our parents."

One of the 99 judges didn’t comment (duh!), but the other one (the conscientious one) did at length, commenting in part on the opening line ("It seemed an odd way to celebrate the Fourth of July."), saying:  "The opening line creates a question that makes me want to read on to find out what was odd about the celebration."

He/she, like one of you mentioned, thought I had a spot where clarity/continuity was a slight problem, but gave me a phrase with which to correct it, so I appreciated that.  The judge liked some of my phrasing; in particular, "blasted a fiery furnace of dry air across the yard," "shoved my squirming impatience into the far back corner of my mind," and "whimsical musings."

The judge went on to say he/she thinks I can sell this work if I can find the right magazine and suggested Guidepost or else perusing a large magazine rack seeking ones where I think my work will fit.  What do y’all think?  

On my 3rd place winner – "A Perfect Day" – about me and my dad spending his last day on earth together, I received two 96′s and a 75(?).  The "conscientious" judge (who gave me a 96) had trouble with the time line because I told the story from a later date and went back to that day.  I agree.  I’ve wrestled with it, myself, in the past about how to present it and think I definitely need to work on that.  The judge went on, saying that if I will fix the time problem, this piece is also marketable, which is encouraging.

He/she called it "very poignant and entertaining" (criteria #5 above) and gave me several phrases he/she thought conveyed that:  "within a window’s peek of finding," "walls of silence between," "barriers of long lost years," "lifetime of silent sentiment," and many others throughout the story, he/she said.

As far as criteria #7 above (effective word/phrase usage), the same judge said, "I became misty eyed four times because I was able to empathize with your feelings."  He/she then gave examples, "to sit and watch and hold his hand became my only tender task," "A quiet reverie spent between dad and daughter . . .," "I ran back through the house to that special room . . .," and the very last line, "I remember Dad, too.  And, I still can’t say goodbye."

Finally, as to criteria #8 above (effectiveness of point of view and ending), this judge said, "A perfect ending that completes the circle begun by Dad and his dad."

For my third piece – "Home" – the non-winning one, I received a 75 (judge said, "Nice perspective"), an 86 from the "conscientious" judge, with lots of good critiques, and, y’all – a 100!  That judge gave me all 10′s and wrote, "Rarely do I have the opportunity to read such exquisite writing.  This piece is truly a gem!" 

While I’m very pleased with the perfect score and adulation, I am really more appreciative of the many critiques, positive and negative, by the detailed judge that give me specific things to work on to make it more marketable (I got a 9 on that criteria).  He/she thinks I have too many long sentences (which I knew I needed to work on) with so many ideas in each of them that a reader can’t keep up with them all.  I suppose it could be worse – that I don’t have any ideas at all in any of them!  Whata you think?  

I won’t go into all of them because I’ve gone on way too long here already, but I think they will help me to make this piece good enough to sell, too.  If I can just figure out to whom to promote it.

My conclusion is, after reading all the judges’ comments, that I’ve got some work to do ahead of me if I want to take these further than my blog and the Anthology the writers’ group is publishing this month.  Tom is all for that, because he’s thought all along I should find ways to make money with my work, even on my blog.  (He’s wanted me to put ads on it since the beginning, but I’ve totally refused to consider that idea.)

If you’ve made it this far, thanks for hanging with me here.  Y’all have a good weekend and remember to pray for those in the path of Ike.

Dee