Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

I don’t know about you, but I’ve suffered various degrees of pain in my life.  And the longer I live, the more badges I’ve earned.

Some were fleeting; some were aggravating.  Some were nothing more than a twinge or a sudden catch that stopped me cold, but then was gone.

Others were excruciating, as after major surgeries, that lasted for a number of days, but got better day by day.  Still others were chronic that required a different kind of treatment and the ability to somehow endure suffering.

I’m talking about physical pains here thus far, but we all know there are as many different kinds of pains in life as there are emotions probably. 

Right now, I’m feeling very well, thank you.  Oh, I have a few minor aches and pains just from being the age I am with a body that’s beginning to wear out.  Rapidly wearing out, actually, according to what the mirror shows me.  The sags and wrinkles have greatly multiplied just the last few months.  And let’s not talk about gray hair – or in my case, hair that is falling out in mass quantities.  You think I’m kidding, but I’m not.  My hair has gotten thinner and thinner and thinner.  Especially on top, just like men’s hair does.  Tom says that at least I can wear a wig, unlike him, but he’s so tall you can’t really see how thin his hair is.

But, through all my years of dealing with suffering and pains of various kinds, I don’t think I’ve ever felt as helpless as I do right now.  You see – Tom is the one who is in terrible pain.  He has had acute tendonitis in his right hip now for about a week and a half.  Then, over the weekend, his right elbow began to hurt the same way.

I took him to see a doctor about his hip last Tuesday – a week ago today – and the doctor gave him a shot of cortisone in his hip.  The doc said that his problem is caused by aging.  Tom’s bones are wearing down and beginning to grind together in the joints, which are deteriorating.  The shot helped for about three days, but then his hip started hurting really badly again.  It’s been so bad the last couple of days he’s hardly been able to walk and sleep is out of the question.  This morning when he tried to get up, he could not straighten his leg out at all.

It was painful for me just to watch him and listen to his moans of agony without being able to do anything whatsoever to help him.  I felt so helpless.

He’s at the doctor’s again right now.  I called them and begged them to get him in today and the kind young woman found a cancellation at 10:20 a.m., so I told them he would be there.  I don’t know what else the doctor will be able to do for him, but I told Tom to find out what all he’s supposed to be doing or not doing (I think he’s been walking entirely too much and exercising too much), to try to get something to take for the pain and hopefully something that will help him sleep.

The doctor told Tom last week that tendonitis is very hard to treat and it’s hard to get it to heal.  That’s not good news at all.  Especially since his hip is much worse now than it was a week ago when he last saw the doctor and got the shot.  That’s not even taking into account his right elbow, which apparently now has tendonitis in it, too.  Tom’s a mess!

I was able to take care of one thing yesterday for Tom.  The doctor highly advised us getting a high density foam mattress topper for the bed, which the doc said would make all the difference in the world.  I found one just like we wanted yesterday at Sam’s for a very good price, so got it and we got it on the bed last night.  It feels great, but Tom is already in such pain, it’s not of much help for him at the moment. Hopefully, that will change for the better.

 I’m so thankful that we live in a day and time when doctors have all kinds of resources to treat patients and to help relieve pain most of the time.  But, on the other hand, I am reminded that these bodies of ours are built but for a short period of time on this earth and then they begin to deteriorate.  We fall apart and our systems begin to fail.  I know all about that, because several of my systems have either entirely failed or are in the process of doing so from being diabetic 38 years.

The only way I know to rise above these things in the end is to put our trust in the Lord.  I believe – I know for a certainty – that prayer is a vital means of expressing our needs to God, though Jesus Christ, and that prayers are answered when we do.  Prayer brings us together in such a way as we can identify with the sufferer and bear some of his pain with him and for him.  We can better understand and feel his pain because we remember those of our own we’ve had.  More importantly, we remember those pains that Christ bore for us, so that we can be – and are – in this relationship with Him and with each other. 

We share all things with each other, even the pain and suffering, when we pray.

So, today I ask you to join me in praying for Tom’s physical, spiritual and emotional healing.  I thank God daily for bringing this man into my life when it was so broken and making me whole.  He has loved me with a love that is constant and pure, without even one shred of selfishness, ever.  There is no way I can ever "repay" him for his devotion and dedication, except by trying to be the very best wife I can be, with God’s help.

I cannot bear to watch him suffer as he is.

Many blessings to you all today ~ Dee

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