A now "used to be" dear friend of ours – a man, of course – sent us the following. Now, I, like all of you, have seen many lists of men’s ideas about things, contemplating how women think, etc, etc. But this is the first list I think I’ve seen that just bluntly, concisely – and manly, you guys will say – spells it all out in plain English for us women.
In reading through the list, I was struck by how familiar many of them sounded like my beloved, but also some of you guys, my blogging buddies. Greg England comes quickly to mind and his buddy Randy Wray, as well as the likes of Ceci Walkerl, and probably Patrick Mead, if he doesn’t get caught by Kami.
Y’all enjoy! And chime in on which ones you’ve mastered or not mastered, fellas. Or, maybe you want to add some more to the list. I’m sure it’s not complete by any means.
Cheers & Blessings to you all today! Dee
The Man
Rules
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all
down
Finally
,
the guys’ side of the
story.
( I must admit, it’s pretty good.)
We always
hear ‘ the
rules ‘
From the
female side.
Now here are the rules from the male
side.
These are
our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered ’1 ‘
ON
PURPOSE!
1. Men
are NOT mind readers.
1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You’re a big
girl. If it’s up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don’t
hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
1. Sunday sports It’s like
the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.
1. Crying
is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do
not work!
Just say it!
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a
problem
only if you want help solving it. That’s what we
do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. Anything we said
6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become
Null and void after 7 Days.
1. If you think you’re fat, you probably
are.
Don’t ask us.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the
other one
1.
You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it
yourself.
1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say
during commercials..
1. Christopher Columbus
did
NOT need directions and neither do we.
1.
ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for
example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have
no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it
will be scratched.
We do that.
1. If we
ask what is wrong and you say ‘nothing,’ We will act like nothing’s wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If
you ask a q uestion you don’t want an answer to, Expect an answer you don’t want
to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is
fine… Really .
1. Don’t ask us what we’re thinking
about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as
baseball
or
golf.
1.
You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. I am in
shape. Round
IS a
shape!
1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on
the couch tonight;
But did
you know men really don’t mind that? It’s like camping.
Thanks for the mention Dee. For some reason I feel like yelling out in a Mel Gibson voice, “Freedom!” Especially when I read:
1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.
Hilarious! I guess I still have blinders on or I’m still looking through my rose-colored glasses. We saw this guy walk across a parking lot one day doing that “itchy” thing. I expressed my disgust, and Doris said something to the effect of “everybody does it.” I said, “Nuh-uh, I’ll bet _______ doesn’t do that; he’s too classy and aware of impressions he’s making.” Her answer? “Oh, yes, ______ does—–maybe just not in public!”
Funny stuff! And very true. Imagine the joy of the male / female relationship that would be missing if all these “rules” were strictly obeyed. Life would be so dull.