Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

 View From the 80s: A Philosophy of Life at 87

Saturday, April 4th – Mom’s Present View

I last left The Great Road Trip of 2009 saga with Tom taking Mom, Laura and me shopping in Slidell that Saturday afternoon at the mall.  Penney’s, to be exact, to buy knit shirts.  (See that post here – I know it’s been a while.  Sorry.)

Mom insisted on buying us all the shirts we wanted on sale and she got a couple, as well.  When Laura & I protested, she said this was something she wanted to do, and was going to do it!  She began sharing her view of life
at 87.  She had things to say and wanted us to listen carefully, paying full attention, Penney’s or not.

I’d begun to get an inkling of her current thinking before our trip had begun, but had not realized its depths.  We’d been talking about it since the prior December, but it wasn’t until late Feb. 2009 when I finalized my plans to fly out to Abilene on March 31 and mailed Mom a copy of my itinerary that I got a major clue as to her thinking.

She sent me a birthday card for my March 2 birthday with a check enclosed.  She usually sends each of us a $20 bill for our birthdays, but this check was for $60 + the cost of the plane ticket.  I was surprised and called her to thank her, asking if my worth as a person had risen in value since turning 60.

She laughed and told me that she not only was paying for my plane ticket, but also intended to pay for our entire trip.  The three of us (Mom, Laura & I) had not discussed it at all, but I think Laura’s thinking was the same as mine – we were doing this for our mom and would share the costs on the road equally – in thirds.

I didn’t get a chance to talk with Laura about it until I got out to Abilene and she began worrying about having cash to bring with her on the trip for expenses.  I told her what Mom had said and that I, too, would help her with cash if she needed it, not to worry about it.

Sure ’nuff, Mom bought the gas, whatever food we ate (which wasn’t a lot on the trip, if you remember) and paid for our night at the DiamondJack Hotel.  Since we’d been back home to Picayune, she kept telling me that she would help pay for our groceries while she & Laura (and then Laura’s husband) were there, but had not as yet done so.

Now, here we were shopping at the mall and Mom wanted to share with us her heart.  [Note:  I must say here that our mom is by no means a wealthy woman, as the world perceives wealth.  Children of the depression, she and Dad never had a lot of money, but they always saved.  She has a degree in Business Administration and always kept the "books." I never knew how she managed so well, us living on a farm and there being four of us kids, but she did.]

She began telling us that at this point in her life (she is 87!), she has
more money than she’ll ever be able to spend.  She says that money is
the least of her worries, unlike all the rest of us.  She began to relate how many Christian friends she’d had, still has, who were so tight with their money, that they would not let go of any of it for anything – even their children.  Most of all, their children, she said.

She said they would (will) wait until after they are long dead before their kids see a penny of it, and by then the kids (likened unto us) could possibly all be in their late 60s or even 70s before the remaining parents are gone.  Mom thinks that is stupid and selfish!  She says she realizes that whatever she gives us now, that means we’ll have less after she’s gone (since she’s leaving all she has to we three kids, anyway), but she knows there are things in our lives that are importance for us to do now, while we are still young enough and healthy enough) and she wants us to be able to do them.

Most important, she said, she wants to be around to enjoy the pleasure of sharing her money with us so that we can all do things together – like this very trip we were on.  And we were having a blast!!

Besides, she said with a twinkle in her eye and getting back to our shopping "spree," we’d better take full advantage of all we could get while she was in such a generous mood spending her kids’ inheritance!

For all we got, "her" bill was only about $100, which was amazing.

We stopped at Sam’s Club to pick up some thick steaks for Tom to grill later and started home.  It was now about 5:30 p.m. and Mom was tired, she said.  Me, too.  My shoulder blade had begun to hurt, but I didn’t say anything to anyone.  We were all having too much fun.

By the time we got home and laid out all of our "cute" shirts to gaze upon, we decided we were still full from the late sandwich lunch and told Tom we’d rather save the steaks for the next evening.  He agreed, but told us we’d better not fill up on sandwiches tomorrow because he wanted to grill us those steaks.

We had gotten Mom & Laura some neat night lights/flash lights while in Sam’s and Mom insisted she wanted to pay us back for hers.  She would not let us gift her with anything.  But, she’d not said a word about the $200 I’d spent on groceries that morning or the steaks, which I thought was a bit odd since she’d said she wanted to cover everything.  But, I wasn’t going to say anything because she was our guest and my mom, for goodness sakes, and we wanted to do things for her.  

She went off to her bedroom to piddle around and bring me what I thought was going to be a $20 check.  She was gone a while, but finally emerged and handed me a check, she said, to cover all our expenses, but with something extra for a special purpose, if we so desired.  I looked at the amount on the check and I was floored.  Tears welled up in my eyes so that I couldn’t see as I exclaimed, "MOM!?!

It was for at least five times more than all of our expenses for the trip and week.  It was a very generous check with a comma in it.  She said, "I want you to go on to see David (my older son in Virginia) in May, like you’d planned before your fiancial situation hit a down turn.  It’s important that you go on and go and see him and his family because it’s been two years and you need to go."

I showed Tom the check and he was stunned, too.  She told us that she had been planning this for a good while before the trip.  She had told Laura before hand what she was going to go and was giving Laura and my brother Neil each checks of the same amount – for all of us to do whatever we wanted to do with the extra gifted money.

She shared with us, again, and with Tom, how she felt about it and why she was doing it, but we were still overwhelmed at her generosity, not only of money, but mostly of heart and spirit.

I hope I can better emulate my mom with my kids, you know?  We do not have a lot, but we try to share what we can when we can.  In the end, that is all any of us can do.  May we all try to be as generous in heart and love as my mom!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

As you know, things did not work out for Tom & me to go to Virginia in May to see David and family because of my pinched nerve, but something even better has come up in God’s timing that will take place in just two weeks and I cannot wait to share it with you.  But, this has gone on too long already, so it will have to wait for next time, when I also get back to the next episode in The Great Road Trip of 2009.

In the meantime, Many Blessings to you each today!  Dee

To Be Continued . . .

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