When last I left you, I was with Tom (a week ago today) as he was about to purchase an expensive piece of marine grade plywood. We were in east New Orleans in the industrial area which still looks much as it did four years ago (Aug. 29) a few days after hurricane Katrina had ravaged New Orleans, causing the levies to fail and flood much of the city.
The two Loosiana good ol’ boys – brothers – who owned the lumberyard talked with Tom about what he wanted to buy to cut and replace his boat hatch. (It’s made up of three trapezoid* pieces of wood that fit down one over the other as a “doorway” down into the boat cabin.) That’s when I found out for the first time he wanted 4′ by 8′ sheet of plywood that was only 1/4″ thick. The price for the sheet? $51 plus tax, etc.
I knew immediately it would be way too thin – but didn’t (couldn’t) say anything. But, when they put the 2 pieces of wood in the back of the car (he had to have it cut in half to fit in the Tahoe, so we now had two 4′ by 4′ pieces of admittedly beautiful wood), I told him I didn’t think that could possibly be the correct depth of the wood for the hatch. He strained to look back at it and saw exactly what I was talking about.
He began to panic. Became seriously upset. With himself. He moaned to me that he”d just taken off 1/2 day of work, we’d just driven all the way to New Orleans and wasted a lot of time without him getting the right thing, he didn’t now think (as I said, “waste of time? – what about the $57 dollars we just spent on two now totally worthless pieces of good grade marine plywood”).
The farther we drove back across Lake Pontchartrain, the more upset he became. “Didn’t you measure your hatch to see what you needed,” I rationally and logically inquired. His first response was that his nephew Christopher, who was going to cut and groove the pieces, had measured, and Tom “thought” he remembered – sort of – what they were. But, now he was not sure at all and with each mile toward home (all 60 of them) he became less sure.
His second response was that the lumberyard brothers should have known better when he told them what he wanted the wood for. I then asked if he wanted to turn around to go ahead buy a sheet of 1/2″ thick plywood from them so he could get his boat fixed up. He said, are you kidding, those guys would laugh their heads off at me after I walked out of there for being so stupid.
Tom kept trying to call Christopher on his cell phone. No luck. I asked if he wanted to ride on over to the boat – another 40 miles away, of course, to look at the hatch. He was too upset.
We stopped in Slidell to drop the wood off at Christopher’s house and went over to Lowe’s, Tom still fuming over his now obvious mistake. I finally just had to say it, guys. I know, I know. I was bad. (Greg) I said, “Well, didn’t you measure it?”
“Men don’t measure,” he responded, rather cordially, I thought, under the circumstances, and then acknowledged that I am much, much better at things like that and next time he will consult with me first. He knows he’s terrible about “seeing” how things are going to fit somewhere or measurements of any kind.
Chris called then and, yep, needed 1/2″ thick plywood. We figured it would cost twice what the first piece was, right?! So, I jumped in to say I thought I should be allowed to be “extravagant” to the extent he had been.
“Sure, babe,” he said, “anything you want,” as we walked into Lowe’s. “In fact,” he said, “you’re going to get it right now!”
“Really?!” I exclaimed.
“Yep,” he said. “It’s this new $75 dollar trash can you’re getting (to replace our two, smaller “el cheapo” ones that have fallen apart).”
“Tom!” I protested. But, then I laughed and told him, “Well, I know what the very first thing is that’s going on the large trash can. Those two pieces of 4′ by 4′ quarter-inch pieces of hardwood marine plywood!”
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*Note: Aren’t you impressed I know the name of those shapes? Actually – and here comes one of my “brilliant mom” stories – neither Tom nor I could remember for the life of us what those shapes were, having been in our last math classes more years ago than some of you have probably been alive. ha!
We knew they had a name and weren’t “wedges.” They are wedge shaped (straight across the top), but with the bottom part cut straight across. I was going to look online for plane geometrical shapes a couple of days ago, but called my best source on earth first – my mom.
She had no clue and wanted to know why on earth I wanted to know such a thing. I told her, so that I could look much more intelligent and knowledgeable than I probably really am on my blog. Oh, she said. Okay.
She was going to do some research while I, myself, got online.
Before I could look through the page/pictures of geometrical shapes I found (most of which I’d never heard of – decadedron? or some such? They were all called polygons of some sort), none of them being trapezoid, Mom called back to tell me it was a trapezoid. “How on earth did you find out so fast,” I exclaimed.
She laughed and said she’d just opened up her dictionary, intending to start with triangle, and there was a picture of a trapezoid, along with some other shapes. “What dictionary are you using?” I said accusingly, as I opened mine to the word trapezoid, which had no picture whatsoever.
She laughed again as I told her I wanted her to immediately put MY NAME on that dictionary because when she is gone I WANT IT!!
Cheers and many blessings to each of you today! Dee
First … what’s your point? Are you suggesting that, as a result of one minor and rather insignificant mistake in purchasing the wood of correct thickness, that men should now start measuring things? That’s absurd!
Second … So you spent $102 (plus tax) on the wrong wood. From personal experience I can tell you, it could be far worse! Janice simply could not understand how I could spend $900 on an electronic drum set and decide less than a year later that I should have spent $2,000 on the set I really wanted in the first place. I sold the first set for about half price and purchased the desired set … for almost half price. I felt very good about it all. Janice still doesn’t understand and probably never will. I’ll not go into the number of guitars I’ve bought over the years only to decide to sell them. The ten I now have, I will keep. I promise.
Third … He could have been purcha$ing Chri$tma$ gift$!! (I haven’t forgotten that $$tory.)
Fourth … He didn’t lose his hearing aid! You’re still in love! You got a new trashcan … is there anything more romantic than a new trashcan??
Since I know nothing of things nautical, can the pieces be placed over another sheet of plywood that would be to the inside?
I’ve been where Tom was SO-O-O-O many times. He has my greatest respect and sympathy.
Good story!! You can blog about it and laugh about it. That’s the best part.
Aw, Dee, don’t put the useless ones (for now) on the trash. Save ‘em til later to throw away. You might can use them for something else!
All I got to say is you’re way-y-y-y smarter than me. 
Great story, and yeah, I’m laughing! Just remember, all of life is an adventure…that’s where all of our “hindsite” comes from.
I’m at home in Polygon world.
I bet you could sell the unneeded plywood on eBay or Craigslist and get something for them. You should have called me-I used to teach Geometry!