Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

In response to my last post ‘‘Story Tellers 2 – View From my Kitchen Sink,” Greg (England) wrote a comment, as he most always does.  It was not only funny and interesting, but fraught with such applicable truths about many males I know that I felt compelled to respond to it and to add some observations of my own here today.

First – Greg’s comment:

Greg England

I don’t have a clue which direction our house faces, which would be the direction I’d be facing while standing at the kitchen sink. My view is our dining room, which was built to be a den or family room. There is a widow on the other side, but we keep the shutters closed most of the time just for privacy from the very nosey neighbor kids.

If I turn my back to the sink, I’m looking across the kitchen to a sliding glass door. That, too, is most often blocked by blinds because in the afternoon the sun shines right in and heats up the kitchen. (Hmmm, that being the case, I suppose our house faces somewhat east?) When I do look at that door, I see grass that needs mowing or Chipper looking in to see when I’m going to come out and play.

Years ago, when I was a kid, I was standing at the kitchen sink in our house in Orlando, FL and looked out the window (it was dark, sort of late in the evening) to see a man’s face looking back at me. Scared the bejeebers out of me. I’ve been too traumatized since then to actually do dishes, so it worked out to my advantage!

My response to Greg and observations:

Greg -

I had NO idea you were “directionally challenged!”  That’s a very serious problem, you know.  ESPECIALLY for a man, who is supposed to be God born with an innate, very accurate sense of direction.  I mean – how can you not know which direction your house faces, or your windows or your view from your kitchen sink?  I must say I was quite stunned by that revelation.

However, I’m proud of you because you did, eventually, manage to pull together enough male reasoning ability to figure out that since the sun pours through your back patio door (when the blinds are open, which apparently isn’t often) in the afternoons, that must be west.  Good thinking.

Although, you wavered a bit then when you said “[so] I suppose our house faces somewhat east?”  Umh, umh, umh, Greg.  I’m not sure about you yet.  I mean . . . unless I’m wrong, your house (like most, including ours) is built in with square corners with probably rectangular walls.  Many, many homes are built facing one of the four directions – north, south, east or west – not at angles to the directions, although some admittedly are.  That’s possible.

But, if the back of your house is to the west (think sunsets, Greg), then the front of your house should be facing east, and not just “somewhat.”  But, giving you the benefit of the doubt (and having never been there with my compass to check it out personally), I’ll let you slide on that one, and concede your house may face “somewhat” east.  (Do you ever peek through the front blinds and see the sun coming up there, per chance?)

Moving on . . .

After learning you’re “directionally challenged,” it began to dawn on me why you often write in your blog about getting lost on the road, going the various places you must go in your work.  I mean – no WONDER you’re always getting lost, despite having every man’s “wonder toy of the road” today, a GPS.

I know this, because you’ve told us/me that even your GPS seems to not know exactly where things really are or how to get to them.  (Remember your email about being down the highway in the desert coming home and trying to get to a gas station but your GPS led you astray?  Now I understand, better.)

Speaking of having a GPS, I held off for as long as I possibly could, but finally Tom was given a $100 gift card that was burning a hole in his pocket and just HAD to buy one.   He told me he’d seen a great one – on sale – at Best Buy, so it would “only” cost us $29 with the gift card.

However, once we got there and he looked at all of them, the one on sale (for $139, not $129), was not at all what he wanted.  We went to Radio Shack.  Same selection, higher prices.  Back to Best Buy.  Ended up getting a very nice (I’m sure) Magellan on sale.  Much higher, of course, so, instead of costing us $29, it was nearly $100 above the gift card.  (But, all in “boat money,” (see here) which was now expanded to include “safety in the car money.”  Yeah, right.)

The first time he used it was for us to go . . .

But, that story needs its own post, so (I know Greg, you hate these!) stay tuned until next time, y’all!

Cheers!  And many blessings to each of you today!  Dee