Finding Direction: The Wind Vane Chronicles

Tom is currently contemplating whether to take up a friend’s offer to let him come put “THE BOAT” in the water behind his house, which is located on a small lake with access to Lake Pontchartrain near Slidell.  He was thinking that he would do that as he took the boat out of the water over on the coast a couple of weeks ago.

However, that same day, oil and tar balls began to show up in the water of the lake in Slidell.  Undaunted, he still thinks he can get in some good sailing before the mess is too much.  I told him I didn’t think that was such a great idea.  For one thing, the boat has those brand new blue coats of paint on the bottom of it, up to the water line and a little above, with a second blue line trim running around the boat above that.

The other big thing (in my book, however I guess I’m no longer a true sailor) is that if he gets a tar ball caught up in his motor, that will be the end of the outboard motor and I said, “we are not getting a new boat motor.”  “Period.”  “Forget it.”  “No way.”

Sometimes one must stand her ground, and this is the spot I’ve chosen to stand on.

So, he came come up with an alternate plan, which went like this:

(1) He wanted to put in a long gravel driveway down on the lower end of the front of our property so he could put the boat and trailer on it, instead of having it on the grass next to the garage.  Having the boat on the trailer on the grass up close is not only unsightly, but is also killing the grass beneath it.

The last two reasons above earned him enough permission from me to call our builder/contractor to come give him an estimate.

Tom described the gravel he thought would look nice that one of our wealthy neighbors has in his side yard.  Turns out to be a “special” gray gravel that is twice as expensive as regular gravel.  I couldn’t believe it.

Well, yes I could, knowing Tom and how he always gravitates, as if by magic, to the most expensive whatever it is he wants to purchase.  Again, I stood my ground and said “forget it.”  I was against the whole gravel driveway scenario to begin with, but was beginning to wear down.

Then he decided it would be nice to have cross ties along each side and a shed at the end, as a place where he could store all of his boat extra parts and pieces when the boat wasn’t in the water.  The shed could also hold all of his paraphernalia from Mardi Gras and Jazz Fest that now clutters the garage so that it is nearly impossible to get in and out of the cars.

Our builder came out and Tom got a price.  Then, Tom decided to add to the equation a concrete foundation upon which to place the now metal shed we were going to have to buy, so that the shed could be bolted down.

So, now we were up to a “regular” gravel driveway, cross ties all along each side, pouring a concrete foundation, buying a metal shed to place on said foundation, a culvert at the street’s edge, and, oh yeah – it seems a tree that is in the way is going to have to come down.

All of this is so that we can place the boat and trailer on it (along with its monthly liability insurance) since Tom can’t put it in the water anywhere around here due to the oil spill.

I got to thinking about all of this and came up with what I thought was an even better solution.  SELL THE BOAT!

I mean, he can no longer handle it himself, there’s no place to sail within hours of driving and it costs a whole lot of boat dollars just to have it to look at, much less sail.

But, he’s not to be deterred.  So, now I’m thinking that maybe the thing to do is (1) let him do all of the above additions to the property, which hopefully will be considered assets, (2) get a small window unit air conditioner for one of the two shed windows, (3) let  him put the two old furry bean bags out there that he won’t allow me to part with, (4) and have him go out there with his brand new cell phone (remember the other fairly new one got salt water in it and died trying to get the boat out of the water), where he can watch the NFL channel on his phone.

He was all excited because his “new” new phone has the NFL channel with all Sunday and Thursday night games.  I figure this will present the perfect opportunity for him to take advantage of those games, while he sits there in his bean bags looking out the other little shed window at his sailboat in front of him.  What more could a guy want, ya know?

Me . . . I’m going to sit in the house watching football on the 60″ HDTV and pretend Tom’s gone sailing.