As I walked into the small conference room, two pleasingly plump ageless black ladies sitting side by side to my right at the long table looked up at me expectantly.  She sat nearer to me on my left taking no heed at all.

She was younger, dressed in black and, most notably, desperately clutching a big black purse lying in front of her on the table.

All three were there seeking my help as an attorney to get her – the clutched purse lady – a divorce and child support.  The first woman to my right was Kaysha’s (not her real name) Momma and the next her Auntie.  They were sisters who apparently traveled as twins, although they weren’t.

Kaysha was, though, but her twin sister died at birth, so she had been raised as an only child.  

The mama and auntie did all of the talking, and there was a lot of it, but Kaysha rarely even looked up, much less saying anything, even when I prodded her.  I found out all of the particulars, though, a variation on a story I’d heard many times over in divorce actions.  They all ran to a common theme.

 She was 37 years old, had three nearly grown children, a husband who was emotionally abusive to the max who had left them and taken up with a younger woman by whom he had two more children.  She got nothing from him except grief.

She was without hope, except for her Momma.

Her mama, it seems, was a gambler who actually won.  She was either a gambling genius or extremely lucky, I thought, as she pulled out of her own large purse a slew of 1099s showing gambling winnings, lotto winnings and bingo winnings.  She strictly played numbers, she said, and didn’t have a clue about horses.  Just had an instinct for numbers.  Winning numbers.

Momma had paid for Kaysha’s little house, a car for her and the oldest grandson, and for Kaysha to go to cosmetology school to learn to become a hairdresser.  It was to no avail, though, because Kaysha had been diagnosed with debilitating depression and was only able to work for one week before having to give it up.

She was currently on disability, going to the mental health clinic once a week and devouring dozens of pills a day.  They filled her purse, spilling out on the table when I asked what she was taking.  She was barely functional and constantly being worn down by the missing, but not completely gone, husband.

He had a good paying job there in New Orleans with good benefits.  His wages could be garnished, if necessary, to provide child support for her three kids if he balked.  She could get a divorce, too.  I’d see to both, I told her. 

We ended our session with me setting out all I was going to do in what order and what I would need from them.  I also told them they could call me whenever they had any questions or needed anything.  

The very last thing I did that morning was probably the important thing I may have done during my legal career, but more as a woman and as a Christian, than as an attorney.  I turned to Kaysha and asked her to look up at me.

I looked her directly in her eyes and said, "When I was your age – 37 – I had three nearly grown children and a very abusive husband.  I had no education, couldn’t get out of my marriage because of health problems, and was deeply depressed.  I was just like you."

I told her that since then I had gone to college and gotten a degree, graduating with straight A’s, gotten a divorce, finished raising my kids, found true love, married again and gone to law school.  If I can do that, I told her, you have hope and a future in your life.

It took several months for me to accomplish getting her the divorce (which didn’t take long), negotiating child support with her husband’s attorney and the court and seeing her on her way.  I received many phone calls from her at first, less later, and saw her once in a while.  It was an amazing sight to watch how much she changed for the better each time I saw her.  She started doing her hair, polishing her nails, dressing in bright flowerdy dresses and wearing high heels.

She got a new beau, was working and not taking pills any more.  Everyone in the office noticed the changes when she would come in.  I was so happy for her and glad for whatever part I had in it.

Her mama called me toward the end to thank me for helping her.  Then, she confirmed what I hoped was true.  She told me that every time Kaysha had called me through all of those months being uncertain or afraid or down, she was always lifted up and in better spirits after I talked with her.  She said I’d made a huge difference in Kaysha’s life for the better.

You know, I used to stupidly (I think now) think – for years, actually – that as a Christian, we had to be great "models" of goodness and strength to everyone around us.  But, what I found to be true, instead, is that it is in our own weaknesses and failures, our hard times, that we best can relate to anyone.   We must be transparent and let God shine through.

 You’ve been wanting some of my legal career stories, this has been the one for today.  I’ve got plenty more – some hilarious, some sad, all sorts – so I’ll share some of those with you, too, this year.  Okay?!

For today – find someone you can be transparent with.  Open.  Honest.  Sticking your neck out to relate.  God will give the increase.

Cheers & Blessings to you all today!  Dee

Order and peace were restored to her somewhat ersatz fragile world, but then it doesn’t take much for addicted bloggers such as she.

Okay, guys – we’ve now got internet access at home and email back after the long drought.  And what a blessing this is here this morning to sit here with my first cup of coffee (a second and last one will soon follow) and write to you.

I got the chance to read all of your lovely and wonderful comments yesterday evening and was greatly uplifted and cheered.  Things have gone much better the past couple of days, which translates into things have slowed down considerably and the pace is a much better one for me and for Tom both.  

We are still having some rather serious plumbing problems in our master bathroom, which is very worrisome, but Tom is going to call our builder this morning about it to get the plumber back out here.

We also don’t have quite all of the trim painting done around the house and the painters were supposed to be here at 7 a.m. this morning, but now at 8 o’clock, still aren’t here.  Of course, it is very cloudy out and they need to paint the six pillars across our front porch, so maybe that’s why they haven’t shown up.  Who knows with any of the workers who work on houses.  Or builders, either.  But I won’t get started on that this morning.  We’re in the house and it is very nice and very well built.

Well – except for maybe the plumbing, but that remains to be seen.

In the meantime, Tom and I rested Sunday and enjoyed the day doing basically – nothing.  He did "take me to town" to blog.  That sounds so gentrified or something.  Just country, maybe.  To say he "took me to town."  Like when I was growing up on the cotton farm in Abernathy, Texas  just north of Lubbock (for those of you not familiar with the vast Lone Star State – the magnificent state of Texas).

Then we went to Picayune’s Super Wal-Mart on a hot Sunday afternoon, which is always an experience not to be missed, let me tell you.  While there, my blood sugar dropped really low so that I felt really bad and had to start stuffing candy down.  We had to leave the store and come home where I crashed on the sofa for a couple of hours.

I had not been sleeping well at all – again – and was really tired out so the rest was just what I needed.  Tom rested and just piddled around while I was sleeping and after I got up we went out on our back porch and sat together for the longest time just sitting and thinking and talking a little.  Mostly just relaxing and enjoying the time together we had envisioned for so long.

Last night on the National Geographic channel, they did a show on  John’s writing of Revelation and about a lot of the revelation theories over the years that have sprung forth from people’s fertile minds in trying to interpret the many signs and wonders found in John’s vision and Tom and I were reminded once again that when ever the "end times" are due to come – and many people think we are definitely in the end times these days, don’t they – all each of us has is today.

Our time is limited to the moment.  To the immediate present.  So in my view, we must live each moment as if it were our last, because it very well could be.

That is certainly a much better way to live than any other I know of.  I mean, while we plan ahead and dream and long for things in this life, this life is indeed very fragile, spinning on the tip of a fine needle as God watches over His vast universe.

Thus it behooves us (don’t you love that word – "behoove?") to take heed and thought in how we live so that God and Jesus Christ will not find us wanting when that day of Resurrection comes indeed.

Those are my thoughts this cloudy morning here in Picayune, Mississippi.  I guess I really must now say "out from" Picayune, Mississippi since we are now about five miles or more out in the country in a small subdivision that is one winding road long.

Cheers & Blessings each of you today!  Dee

This one you would think would be easy to do, but I’m finding of late, what with all of the stresses of trying to finish our new house up, that it is a most difficult fruit of the Spirit to engage.

In fact, this past week has been most stressful, with a few more yet to come.

So how does one lead a quiet life do you think?

I think that it means to be quiet in spirit within ourselves as well as leading a quiet life as presented to the outside world.  I know that for me, I can appear to be leading a quiet life to the rest of the world, while in fact, my soul and spirit within are in turmoil.

The past three days have been a perfect example.  You see, we experienced someone breaking into our new home to steal most of the items we had stored out there now that the house is locked in preparation to moving.  We lost to theft about $1,100 worth of goods sometime during the night the night or two before Friday and Tom and I both are just absolutely sick about it.

We need all of the things lost and are going to have to replace them as we move in, along with all of the other moving expenses.  It is a great loss to us, although all monetary in scope.

The scripture that has been going over and over in my mind ever since Friday morning when we discovered the theft and called the sheriff is that admonition by Jesus that we should be laying up our treasures in heaven, where moths and rust do not corrupt and thieves do not break in and steal.

What comfort those words have been.  What solace.  Even in all of the grief over what has been lost that it going to be costly to replace.  After all, in the end, it is just money, right?!

So . . . I understand the admonition to Christians to lead a quiet life.  That admonition is imperative, I think, to being satisfied – content through all things – in this life.

So when I ask you to work on this word – this fruit of the Spririt – this week, I know wherewith I speak.

So, think about these things and take heed.  Our father in Heaven watches over us in all things, so we should, of all people, lead quiet lives in dedication to Him.

Blessings to you all today!  Dee

Y’all enjoy his great interview and comment to let him know what you’ve learned about him.

In the meantime . . . Cheers & Blessings to you all today!  Dee
 

Part I – Basic Interview Questions

1.  What’s your favorite scripture?

Is this ok to say… I don’t have a favorite. Really. There are some texts I don’t particularly care for, especially those that call me to costly discipleship. But I find that even those become a blessing to me. I don’t mark in my Bible and I try hard not to have a favorite text. If that makes no sense that’s alright… My last answer might explain this a bit more…

2.  Vital Statistics: – Month, Day, (Year Optional) & Place you were born

February 22, 1963, Englewood, California.

3.  Names of spouse & Children:

Suzanne, Elijah, Hannah

4.  What brought you to where (the location) you are now?

9 years ago we moved to Fort Worth and the Altamesa Church, convinced this was a good place to be. We were right.

5.  Where all have you lived in your life?

Los Angeles, rural Kentucky, and Texas: Abilene, Houston, & Fort Worth

6.  What kind of work do you do?

Ministry

7.  What do you love most about your work:

People

8.  What do you like least about your work:

People. If it were not for the people ministry would be great. If this joke does not translate when read please forgive.

9.  Who has been the most influential person in your life & briefly why:

Beyond my family, I have to say a woman named Squeaky Walker. She is an humble servant of God who taught me to love Him.

10.  Any hidden talents:

1.   Favorite Book (other than the Bible!):

Of Mice and Men, John Steinbeck

2.  Favorite Movie:

The Matrix

3.  Favorite Food:

Good

4.  Favorite Kind of Music:

The contemplative worship genre… Fernando Ortega is a good example

5.  Favorite musical group or performer:

Right now I’d have to say I don’t have one. Sorry.

6.  Favorite song:

Jeremy Camp’s version of Beautiful One

7.  Favorite junk food:

Fish Filet

8.  Favorite childhood memory:

Being warm in the cold. And the time my dad fell into the creek while swinging across on a vine. Greatness for all.

Part 3 – Thought Questions

1.  What is the best meal you have ever eaten?

Two weeks ago at Buon Appetite in San Diego was pretty good.

2.  Where would you most like to visit that you have never been to before?

Jerusalem

3.  What is your proudest moment?

Birth of my kids

4.  What do you most regret?

The year I did not walk closely with The Lord while in grad school. I was quite full of myself.

5.  If money, health, etc. were no concern, what would you do with your time?

Read, write, travel, work with the poor in third world countries. They have so much to offer us and we don’t spend time with them to learn, only to help. By working with them I mean that I would learn more from them than I would give.

6.   What is your favorite book in the Bible and why?

This answer might explain my first answer. I try NOT to have a favorite. It is quite a Modern and Western world idea to speak of a “favorite” text whereas most of our predecessors in the Christian faith did not have access to a Bible and could not have begun to consider one text over another, one book over another.

They may have thought of favorite stories, but not books or verses. There is nothing wrong with a favorite or with your question… To suggest there is, well that is not my point. In fact I enjoy hearing people talk of their “favorite” book or verse. It’s just a discipline I have chosen for myself to not write in my Bible.

I try hard to not look at a particular text, verse, or book as a favorite. In this way I hope to always be open to new insights, even from a verse or book I have read hundreds or thousands of times before. If I had written in the margins I might be persuaded that I have learned all I need to know about this verse back when I wrote it there.

Here’s an example: The story of Noah tells of a catastrophic time (most of the people in Noah’s world died). I think Noah might well be shocked to see that his story has become a favorite theme of nursery decorations (by the way, we decorated our son’s nursery with Noah, Mrs. Noah, and all the gang)!

But here’s the thing: I might not be open to new lessons from this old story if I unintentionally already know all The Spirit would teach me. That’s what having “favorites” has done to me in the past, so I work to not have favorites. This works well for me and perhaps no one else. I’m OK with that.

So – how many of you who read yesterday’s post have actually implemented what at least some of you thought was a great idea?  Anyone? . . . Don’t all pipe up at once, y’all!

I did, as you know.  And I’ll tell you my word for yesterday.  Grace.  Being full of grace.  Eph. 4:7

As God’s providence would have it, while I was racking my brain about how I could be "grace-full," I happened by Mike Cope’s blog (don’t we all?!), Preacher Mike, and his post yesterday was titled "Words of Grace!"

Anyway, it gave me some great ideas and inspired me to be full of grace the rest of the day.  (And I left him and his readers a comment directing those over here who might want to garden with us.)  I don’t know if I succeeded for sure or not, because I think that is one quality we kind of have to get others’ feedback on to know for sure.  

Maybe leaving the comment about gardening and asking others to join us was a moment of grace on my part for the day, do you think?  Or how I was with Tom at lunch and yesterday evening.

If you picked a word for yesterday, share with us what it was.  If not, print out yesterday’s post, cut out your words, or at least lay the page down in front of you, close your eyes, take your finger and stab at one to go ahead and pick a word for today.  I’ll wait . . ..

 I haven’t yet picked out my word, either, so you’re up with me.  I’m going to pick mine out in a minute.  I’ve got to be out most of the day, so hopefully I can put my word to good practice.

Some final thoughts for today . . . I didn’t mention prayer and God’s Spirit and guidance, but if we plant, cultivate and water, AND pray often about it all, GOD will give the increase!!  I skirted around that idea, but never did directly say it yesterday.  God WILL give the increase!  No doubt about it.

I have seen that over and over in my own life and am reaping many of the fruits of the Spirit right now in my "harvesting" years.  Here’s what I’ve found in gardening – not all fruits of the Spirit grow at the same rate.   Some will come more easily, depending on our personalities and circumstances and inclinations, but some will be very difficult to grow taking years, sometimes, to harvest. 

Take the word Patience.  Boy – talk about a tough one.  Plus, you’d better be careful when you pray for it (and you should) because of what God may send you to help you reap the patience harvest!  But – be patient! – he will!

That’s it for this morning.  A semi-short post for the day.

Cheers & Blessings to each and every one of you today and have a great day working on your word.  I’m "fixin’ to" go pick mine!

Dee

Spring is coming and you and I are all going to plant a garden today.

I’m serious.  And it’s not only going to be fun, but very rewarding.

Here’s what you each need:

1.  One or two small clay or ceramic or plastic or whatever pots or containers you may have.  (I’m starting with a coffee mug.)

2.  A sheet of paper (or a printed out copy of this post) and a pen.

3.  A pair of scissors.

Very simple, hunh?!  And you’re wondering exactly what is going on, right?  How on earth do you plant and cultivate a spring garden with a pot, paper, pen and scissors?  And I’m talking about really planting and cultivating, too.

You see, we’re going to plant the seeds for the fruits of the Spirit and then cultivate them day by day.  I thought up this idea several years ago when working with a young couple who were having serious marital problems.  Here’s what I did for them (I followed the directions below and gave them each their little clay pots full of slips of paper to choose from) and encouraged them to do every day after I was gone.

I’m going to give you a list of qualities to emulate on a daily basis, one at a time, for you to write down on your sheet of paper.  After you have them all listed you are going to cut each one into a smaller piece of paper that you can fold up and place in your pot.  (Or just print out this post, cut out each of the 20 fruits – qualities – listed below, fold it up and put it in your little container.)

If you are married, then either do one for your spouse or get them to do one with you following the same instructions.  Or maybe you have children who can participate.

Cut out every item on your list, fold it up and add it to your little pot.  Then this is what you’re going to do.  Each of you will every morning draw out a piece of paper at random, look at it and that will be your individual word or phrase for the day to follow.  Don’t tell anyone else what your word is, but merely (okay, maybe not "merely" – let’s try deliberately) try to emulate that quality in your life for that day and see what happens.  At the end of the day, talk with the other participants and try to guess each other’s word for the day and talk about your own experience with your word for that day.

Do this day after day until you’ve run out of pieces of paper, at which time you should start again with your discarded piles that you’ve kept somewhere.  (Or else start a new list from your study or from coming back here to this post or however you want to do it.)

At the end of your list, see if you can detect any noticeable differences either in your own life or those of your spouse and children.  Encourage each other in the practice of cultivating their fruits of the Spirit.  This is a very real challenge that takes some commitment, but then, don’t all gardens.

Okay – here’s your list of 20 items to emulate and/or exhibit one at a time on a daily basis.  (If you want to be really lazy print out this post and just cut out the listed items and put them folded up in your little pot or container):

1.  Love - Gal. 5:22

2.  Joy - Gal. 5:22

3.  Peace - Gal. 5:22

4.  Patience - Gal. 5:22

5.  Kindness - Gal. 5:22

6.  Goodness - Gal. 5:22

7.  Faithfulness (be Faithful) - Gal. 5:22

8.  Gentleness (be Gentle) - Gal. 5:22

9.  Self-control – Gal. 5:22

10.  Hopefulness (be Hopeful) - I Cor. 13:13

11.  Graceful – Be full of Grace – Eph. 4:7

12.  Humble (practice Humility) – Eph. 4:2

13.  Bear all others in love – Eph. 4:2; Phil. 2:3 & 4

14.   Sing (and make music in your Heart) – Eph. 5:19

15.  Submit to one another (all others) – Eph. 5:21

16.  Devote yourself to prayer – Col. 4:2

17.  Be Quiet; lead a quiet life - I Thess. 3:11

18.  Encourage the Timid (including children) – I Thess. 5:14

19.  Help the Weak (including children) – I Thess. 5:14

20.  Give Thanks in all circumstances - I Thess. 5:18

Tell you what – I’ll do this along with you and see what happens in my own life.  I’m going to be lazy and print out this post so I can just cut out my 20 items to put in my own little container (an extra coffee mug in my case until I can get out to buy a little "flower" pot). 

I’m going to start right now this minute and choose my word at random for today.   Okay – I’ve got it.  Wow – I’m going to have to think about this to figure out how exactly I can emulate this quality.  I’ve got some work for the day! 

That’s it.  Simple, but effective if put into practice.  God says so and I believe him.  BTW – this would be a great exercise to do with your kids and/or in kids’ Bible classes or for VBS.  Churches do still have VBS, don’t they?

Well – I don’t know about you, but I’ve got to get busy gardening.  I sure hope you will, too, along with me.  I’ll report back as I garden and y’all do the same, you hear?  I’m going to be asking you how your garden is growing and I don’t want to hear any stories of slacking off or quiting.  Failure is okay once in a while or often as long as you’re working on it, okay?  You can share your failures here and we’ll support you and encourage you to get back on track.

And you guys have to do this, too, btw!  This is not a "girlie man" thing at all and I think even AH-nold would approve and participate – maybe with Maria and his kids. 

Cheers & Blessing to you all today!  Dee

                    I see a rock–
                    a grain of sand
                    And I begin to understand

                            God.

                    A little flower–
                    wild or tame
                    They all are different, yet the same

                                  to God.

                    They are around us–
                    everywhere
                    The little rocks, the flowers fair

                                from God.

                    It is the same–
                    with you and me
                    When others look–they should see

                                God.

                                Dee Ann Andrews
                                      circa 1973

Tom and I watched it a couple of nights ago, again, and it is one of the most powerful and fascinating movies about religion, religious fervor and the ministry I’ve ever seen, and I’ve seen it several times.  But it had been a long while since I’d last seen it so I was reminded once again of its value and intrigue.

The movie was based on the Sinclair Lewis book of the same name published in 1927.  The book was a scathing satire of religion in America at the time, but you know what?  It seems totally fitting and appropriate  for today.

I’m not going to go into Elmer’s character or what was in the movie.  You can read the book and watch the movie for yourself.  

Instead, the question I have is – where are we in our Christian walk and how do such portrayals of Christianity apply?  What does Elmer Gantry have to say about our own Christianity and spirituality? 

The problem that many "outsiders," including out and out unbelievers, agnostics and atheists, have with Christians is that we lead lives of hypocrisy.   Just like Elmer, who was a minister, but also a  boozer (which is an "old-fashioned" word, isn’t it, but appropriate) and a womanizer, we preach one thing but live another.

I mean, let’s be honest and "get real" here for a minute.

How many of us really practice what we preach?  

My thinking on the subject is that we are all sinners, but that what we need to do more than anything with all others and even with ourselves is to show humility toward all and to think of others more highly than ourselves, even those unbelievers, agnostics and atheists we so disdain.

Another thing I got from Elmer Gantry is that I hold a very different view toward Christianity than Elmer does.  Elmer preaches eternal hell and damnation, while I would preach God’s love for sinners and eternal life, not torment.  Eternal death – yes.  Eternal torment – no.

I’ve been thinking on and studying the topics of death, dying and the hereafter for a while now and have come to believe that Elmer Gantry’s view of such things, and that of Christianity as a whole, has been misdirected.  I have come to believe that we need to hold to and preach God’s love and life eternal as opposed to hell and damnation.  Of what profit is that?

I know that for me, it was through God’s love that I was called to be His child so that I might feel secure in His everlasting love in the end.  It did not dawn on me all at once, nor did it dominate the living of my life until mid-life.  Even now as I age and grow older it continues to grow in me so that it resonates and completes my Christian walk.

As for you "preacher types" out there who some think I lambasted last Saturday, I would urge you to study on these things, seeking a true understanding of life as God’s child, death, dying and the afterlife, and to exhort and encourage others as best you can with the really great news.  God give His children – all believers – eternal life!  I find it to be of great comfort and joy in thinking of eternal life as opposed to death for all of those in this world who have not deliberately turned away from God.

I don’t know about you, but for me this is thrilling news!